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The path I chose..

Bloggers Note:  This is a diary entry I’ve written a long time ago that I can’t even remember writing it myself.  But the moment I found and read this again, I decided to publish this for everyone to see.  You’ll know why as you continue reading.  I just hope you’ll learn a lesson (might as well LESSONS) and apply it on your own.  Carpe Diem! J

This may be hard to believe, but if you knew me personally you’d be surprise to know what is going through my mind for the past few months.  I know I wasted 4 years of my life wandering and whining around, and now all I can ever do is to secretly ask myself – what the hell did I do with my life?

I entered college wondering what course I am going to pursue.  But I can’t think of anything that pleases my appetite to study at the time.  So to cut the story short, I ended taking up a course that I’m not really familiar with.  I just wanted to please my mother because she once told me that back then, when she was at my age, she wanted to take that course.  I’ll be lying if I’d say:  I LEARN TO LOVE THE COURSE, but for awhile it helped me out to get to know myself.  But I am a hot-blooded teenager and risky enough to try new things without thinking what will be the outcome of my carelessness?  I made a lot of mistakes that delivered my life into a big failure.

I joined an organization that led me to some wrong doings.  My “one way street” life suddenly changed into a narrow and dark road with lots of turns, and I don’t know which way to take.  So, I soar every turns if that’s the right path that will lead me back into the life I only knew before.  But as it turns out, each way I cross only brings the worse in me.

I had become a disobedient daughter, I learned a lot of vices, and I even lost my enthusiasm to study hard.  There were times that I’d prefer to cut my classes just to hang-out with my peers.  Or I won’t be home early cause me and my pals are catching up the night life.  Worst scenario:  I won’t even be home!  I live my life to the fullest, and didn’t realize that while I was throwing up an animalistic party with friends, my family is suffering because of me.

A second chance was given.  It is very hard for me to adjust
 because my classmates are younger than me, but they were
 nice.  It’s just that sometimes I still missed my old friends.  I

visit them sometimes, then often times iI’ll miss my classes
again because they were inviting me to come over.  That’s the second biggest mistake of my lfe and that also led my family to make a harsh decision for me.  (Let’s talk about it next time! J – akOsiYatz)

The path I chose is wrong.  I’m a failure, I lost.  I withdraw myself from everyone else, even to my own family.  I was thinking very hard lately and I made up a decision on my own.  I’ll take another step and this time I will aim higher.  I can see a little light across the road that I am taking right now, and I’m pretty sure that it is now the road to leave the dark road behind me.  I also know that along the way I will encounter lots of U-turns, left turns, or any kind of turns that will try knock me down for the nth time.  But I promise to myself, this time no matter what happen – no one or nothing hinder my plans.  Not this time, not ever again. J

Our Pledge

 18th monthsary :))

Coz we are beautiful no matter what they say

Let Go, Let GOD!

I REST IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD.

The first step in letting God direct my life is letting go of worries, concerns and frustrations. I release what I’ve been fretting over, what has consumed my thoughts and drained my energy.

As I let go of tension and allow my body and mind to relax, I feel the burden lift from my shoulders. I gently release any concern, making room for the free flow of God in my life.

I focus my thoughts on God and on the sanctuary of hope, peace, power and potential within me. I find this sanctuary as I remove the barriers I have built through personal strife. As I let go and rest in the presence of God, I am assured and at peace.

But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.—Matthew 6:33

Finally!

After 5 months of waiting.. At last I saw him again, get to kiss and hug him again and again and again.  It feels so right being with the one you love :)

Soon...

    

Gunshot with love

It will never be easy to say those three little words..

And if you're meaning to say it, be sure it will be straight from the heart.

Hey you! I love you with all of my heart.. :)

"For Keeps"

Who would've thought it will be us?  That we'll end up together, right?  Back then, I do care less about other people.  My world revolves around me, together with all my stupidity.

But then you came and you see a world in me that nobody ever see.  You've been a good friend to me.  Though we're distance apart, our friendship remains important to me.  We may not be able to share our day-to-day things for a moment, but we share something that distance cannot erase.

As from the day we took our relationship to the next level, I ain't have to think twice before saying "YES".  Because that was all I've waited for.

We sometimes share different views and opinions in life.  Let's admit it, we aren't a perfect couple.  But I don't give a damn about perfection!  I LOVE YOU.  And I only not love you, but also this connection that binds us.  Well, also the fights that we sometimes struggle to fix right away.  Anyway, I can say that that made the foundation of our relationship even stronger.

Thank you so much for coming into my life, for understanding and accepting the real me.  Sorry for those mistakes I've done..

Will it be too much if I ask you one more favor?  Cheesy as it may sound,but.. Will you love me for always? :))

I'm not asking for forever cause I know it is such a long....long...long...long time.  And I'm not quite sure if forever really does exist.

So, I guess I'm okay with always.. (Just in case forever does exist, I want you to know that I will long and love you forever.)

PLEASE LOVE ME..ALWAYS.