The path I chose..

Bloggers Note:  This is a diary entry I’ve written a long time ago that I can’t even remember writing it myself.  But the moment I found and read this again, I decided to publish this for everyone to see.  You’ll know why as you continue reading.  I just hope you’ll learn a lesson (might as well LESSONS) and apply it on your own.  Carpe Diem! J

This may be hard to believe, but if you knew me personally you’d be surprise to know what is going through my mind for the past few months.  I know I wasted 4 years of my life wandering and whining around, and now all I can ever do is to secretly ask myself – what the hell did I do with my life?

I entered college wondering what course I am going to pursue.  But I can’t think of anything that pleases my appetite to study at the time.  So to cut the story short, I ended taking up a course that I’m not really familiar with.  I just wanted to please my mother because she once told me that back then, when she was at my age, she wanted to take that course.  I’ll be lying if I’d say:  I LEARN TO LOVE THE COURSE, but for awhile it helped me out to get to know myself.  But I am a hot-blooded teenager and risky enough to try new things without thinking what will be the outcome of my carelessness?  I made a lot of mistakes that delivered my life into a big failure.

I joined an organization that led me to some wrong doings.  My “one way street” life suddenly changed into a narrow and dark road with lots of turns, and I don’t know which way to take.  So, I soar every turns if that’s the right path that will lead me back into the life I only knew before.  But as it turns out, each way I cross only brings the worse in me.

I had become a disobedient daughter, I learned a lot of vices, and I even lost my enthusiasm to study hard.  There were times that I’d prefer to cut my classes just to hang-out with my peers.  Or I won’t be home early cause me and my pals are catching up the night life.  Worst scenario:  I won’t even be home!  I live my life to the fullest, and didn’t realize that while I was throwing up an animalistic party with friends, my family is suffering because of me.

A second chance was given.  It is very hard for me to adjust
 because my classmates are younger than me, but they were
 nice.  It’s just that sometimes I still missed my old friends.  I

visit them sometimes, then often times iI’ll miss my classes
again because they were inviting me to come over.  That’s the second biggest mistake of my lfe and that also led my family to make a harsh decision for me.  (Let’s talk about it next time! J – akOsiYatz)

The path I chose is wrong.  I’m a failure, I lost.  I withdraw myself from everyone else, even to my own family.  I was thinking very hard lately and I made up a decision on my own.  I’ll take another step and this time I will aim higher.  I can see a little light across the road that I am taking right now, and I’m pretty sure that it is now the road to leave the dark road behind me.  I also know that along the way I will encounter lots of U-turns, left turns, or any kind of turns that will try knock me down for the nth time.  But I promise to myself, this time no matter what happen – no one or nothing hinder my plans.  Not this time, not ever again. J